Dear Auntie Sadie,
I have recently moved to Sai Kung and was wondering whether you accept credit card payments to publish my letter in Sai Kung Buzz Magazine?
Loaded In Sai Kung
Dear Loaded In Sai Kung,
How WONDERFUL to hear from you!!! You know, I can always tell a lot about a person’s character and looks from the way they write. And it’s quite obvious to me that you’re either devilishly handsome, or breathtakingly beautiful, charming and generous, with the whole of Sai Kung Town in raptures at your pedicured feet! Now, darling, here’s the thing: I do prefer rolls of cold, hard, dirty cash. However, if your current circumstances dictate that you are ONLY able to provide full credit card payment, including surcharges and transaction fees, I do accept credit card payments for LARGE sums via my overseas business associate, Mr. Cashawoohoo. Please add me as a friend on Facebook and I will PM you with all of Mr. Cashawoohoo’s banking details in Nigeria. Please be aware there is a 178% surcharge on all transactions made to me via Mr. Cashawoohoo. DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT!!!!! send money that’s intended for me to that offensive, tabloid rag, Sai Kung Buzz. The people who run this scandalous excuse for a publication are charlatans – and they haven’t paid me a cent. Help me, Loaded In Sai Kung! No, MARRY me! You’re my only hope!
Hugs and kisses,
Auntie Sadie xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox…